B: There’s my cough again. I have no idea what’s triggering it.
Dude. You’re six.

We had BBQ chicken for supper. Someone said something about sauce on their hands or the mess or something.
B: That’s because Jack and Daddy use their hands. Like pigs.
J: Pigs don’t have hands.
B: Then how do they catch their prey?

J: I poured too much salsa.
B: How much did you pour?
J: Enough and a half.

Blake asked for a new Minecraft mod. Even after trying different versions, I couldn’t get it to work.
B, with his little lip quivering: But I really wanted that mod.
Me: We’ll try again in a couple of months. Sometimes they’ll update something and it’ll work.
B: Okay. I guess we have to wait until January.
Me: I think we can try again before then.

B: How do you spell “frew?”
Me: Uh…
B: Like “If you go frew this door…”
Is is wrong to not want him to grow out of his speech issues when it’s this cute?

B: March has 31 days, right?
Me: Yes.
B: But it has more in Leap Year?
Me: No. February is the only month that gets an extra day.
B: Why does February only have 28 days? Is it so we get to December faster?

First thing out of Blake’s mouth when he woke up this morning: I learned something. A light flickering in a room in a horror movie is NEVER good. Unless it’s just someone standing in the room turning a flashlight on and off. But that doesn’t really make sense, so no one would probably do that. Unless they turned it on to see if it worked, and said, “Hey, cool! It works!” And kept turning it off and on to see if still works.

B: Is a beacon a real thing?
Me: Yes. It’s like a signal.
B: So if you’re in the city of the undead and you’re lost, you can send up a beacon and get help?
Me: Uh, that’s not the typical usage, but, yeah.

Somehow Blake started in on pores and sweating. After some discussion:
B: So water comes out the holes?
Me: Basically.
B: So you have to pee less.
Me: Um, not exactly.
B: But water comes out, so you have to pee less.

We’re downstairs watching The Hobbit. Blake was upstairs and came down to tell me he was hungry. His dad is upstairs. In his chair. Right beside the kitchen door.
B: I’m hungry.
J: Get Daddy.
Me, at the same time: Where’s your daddy?
B: Daddy’s asleep. You’re not supposed to wake someone up in case it’s an emergency.
Me: Unless it’s an emergency?
B: Yeah. That.

Bilbo was trading riddles with Gollum.
Blake: It’s not really fair because Gollum has two people. Gollum and Beagle.
I didn’t catch what he said at first, but Jack laughed.
Blake: No…Bagel.
Keep working on it, son.

J: Blake, don’t turn on the tv. It takes you too long to eat and we have to leave.
B: But I need something to advertise me.
Me, after thinking for a few seconds: Entertain you?
B: Yes.

I heard Blake say something, but I didn’t catch what he said. Then I did hear this:
B: Oh no!
Me: What?
B: I said, ‘oh, damn.’
I waited, because 1)He doesn’t say stuff like that and 2) I wondered what the tragedy was.
B: I meant to say, ‘oh, man.’
Me: It happens, son.

J: I wish my left leg were as flexible as my right leg. It would be more convenienter.

B: Supermarkets sell people things they didn’t even know they needed.
Me: Um, what?
B: Supermarkets sell people things they didn’t even know they needed.
Me: Where did you hear that?
B: I looked up supermarket. [Doubtful. I’m sure he heard it worded just that way somewhere.]
Me: How would you even know to look up the word supermarket? We don’t even use that word. We say grocery store.
B: Grocery store, supermarket…So a guy walks into a supermarket and he doesn’t know what he wants. Then he sees bread and cheese, and thinks, “Hey, I want a cheese sandwich.”

J: This is a cool puzzle game. See, the left trigger and stick control the older brother and the right trigger and stick control the younger brother.
Me: I need one of those remotes.

B: Daddy’s making a green drink and he wants to know if you want one.
Me, assuming he meant some kind of smoothie: I don’t know. Depends on what he’s putting in it.
B: Some ice and some other thing that I don’t know.
Me: That was helpful.
Turns out Daddy was making margaritas.

I was taking Legos apart.
B: Here. Let the child-man show you how to do that.
(Before the feminists freak out, it didn’t come across that way at all. I’d have stopped that in its tracks.)

B kept dropping the pegs into the bottom of the Battleship case.
B: This is hard.
Me: I don’t have any trouble holding in to them.
B: you’re older than me so you’re more durable.

Jack and I are watching Star Trek. Blake came down the stairs in a Darth Vader mask.
Me: Go away, Darth. We’re watching a different space movie.
Darth: Dagnabit.

Blake and I were playing Life. He landed on a block that awarded him $95,000.
B: I can buy anything I want until it’s all gone!
Me: That pretty much applies to any amount of money.

B: I uninstalled some of my other games so I have room for this one now. Last time I tried to install it, it said I had insignificant space to install it.

The boys are watching Teen Titans GO!
Blake laughs.
J: Blake, that’s not really funny.
B: Then why are you smiling?
J: Because you’re smiling.
(I love it when they do stuff that reminds me why I keep them around. 😉 )