Kid Quotes (3/6)

J: Blake, don’t turn on the tv. It takes you too long to eat and we have to leave.
B: But I need something to advertise me.
Me, after thinking for a few seconds: Entertain you?
B: Yes.

I heard Blake say something, but I didn’t catch what he said. Then I did hear this:
B: Oh no!
Me: What?
B: I said, ‘oh, damn.’
I waited, because 1)He doesn’t say stuff like that and 2) I wondered what the tragedy was.
B: I meant to say, ‘oh, man.’
Me: It happens, son.

J: I wish my left leg were as flexible as my right leg. It would be more convenienter.

B: Supermarkets sell people things they didn’t even know they needed.
Me: Um, what?
B: Supermarkets sell people things they didn’t even know they needed.
Me: Where did you hear that?
B: I looked up supermarket. [Doubtful. I’m sure he heard it worded just that way somewhere.]
Me: How would you even know to look up the word supermarket? We don’t even use that word. We say grocery store.
B: Grocery store, supermarket…So a guy walks into a supermarket and he doesn’t know what he wants. Then he sees bread and cheese, and thinks, “Hey, I want a cheese sandwich.”

J: This is a cool puzzle game. See, the left trigger and stick control the older brother and the right trigger and stick control the younger brother.
Me: I need one of those remotes.

B: Daddy’s making a green drink and he wants to know if you want one.
Me, assuming he meant some kind of smoothie: I don’t know. Depends on what he’s putting in it.
B: Some ice and some other thing that I don’t know.
Me: That was helpful.
Turns out Daddy was making margaritas.

I was taking Legos apart.
B: Here. Let the child-man show you how to do that.
(Before the feminists freak out, it didn’t come across that way at all. I’d have stopped that in its tracks.)

B kept dropping the pegs into the bottom of the Battleship case.
B: This is hard.
Me: I don’t have any trouble holding in to them.
B: you’re older than me so you’re more durable.

Jack and I are watching Star Trek. Blake came down the stairs in a Darth Vader mask.
Me: Go away, Darth. We’re watching a different space movie.
Darth: Dagnabit.

Blake and I were playing Life. He landed on a block that awarded him $95,000.
B: I can buy anything I want until it’s all gone!
Me: That pretty much applies to any amount of money.

B: I uninstalled some of my other games so I have room for this one now. Last time I tried to install it, it said I had insignificant space to install it.

The boys are watching Teen Titans GO!
Blake laughs.
J: Blake, that’s not really funny.
B: Then why are you smiling?
J: Because you’re smiling.
(I love it when they do stuff that reminds me why I keep them around. 😉 )