Kid Quotes (9/29)

B: Why do I keep getting sick? Does the virus come along and say, “Hey, he looks good. I’ll eat him,” and jump on my head?
Me: Um…something like that.

J: What do you call a cow with no legs?
B: Steak.
J: No. Well, yeah. But no.

B: It’s okay when other people smile, but when you do it, it’s creepy.

Blake, after checking the battery level on his tablet: All the percent is almost gone.

B, all in one breath:I like helping people. Like you and Daddy and Jack. Like putting up my clothes and holding doors and stuff. Like for you and Daddy and Jack. And myself. I just put the stuff down and open the door.
Finally pausing: Why don’t other people just do that?
So there you go. If you’d just put the stuff down, you could open the door.

J: Blake please leave me alone for a while! Mama, please tell Blake to leave me alone for a while!
B, crying: You don’t love me anymore!
Me: he still loves you. He just needs some time alone sometimes. You can hang out with me.
B: but I want to be with Jack.
Me: But he doesn’t want to be with you right now.
B, still crying: But Jack makes the best toast in the world.
Me: Um, okay. But he still wants to be alone right now.