Kid Quotes (3/20)

Blake, with great surprise: Why is the peanut butter in the fridgelator?
Me: That’s mayonnaise, baby.
I have no idea when he has ever seen white peanut butter.

B’s computer monitor has a button on the bottom edge that’s hard for him to find, so I just heard this from downstairs:
Mama, can you get my thermonitor on for me?

J couldn’t hear his math lesson because B’s video was turned up too loud. When I turned it down a bit, B said, “I can’t hear that perfectly fine.”

The boys were downstairs playing Minecraft. B ran back up to watch Netflix.
B: Netflix is laggy, too! It must be everything that runs on electricity!
He knows the internet is out there, but he doesn’t quite grasp the concept.

B: Well, that was a dramatic ending.
Dude, you’re FIVE. Stop.

B: How many kinds of turtles are there?
Me, after naming a few: That’s all I know. We can look it up.
B: Is there a turtle wiki?

B, while watching TV: Is he back in time?
A few minutes later: Is he front in time again?

B wanted to buy Minecraft PC for his (my) computer. He had the money saved up, but explaining online purchases to a 5yo is entertaining.
B, looking at the computer tower: Where do you put the money in?
Me: We have to use a credit card or bank card on the website.
A few days later when we went to the bank to put his money in my account so I could use my card: Do they [the bank tellers] know about Minecraft PC?
Me: We’re not buying it here. We’re putting the cash in my account so we can use my bank card on the website, remember?
There are two older X-Box games he wants and I’ve told him he has to wait until his birthday, but from time to time, he tries to talk me into buying them early.
B: Do you still have that card you used to buy Minecraft?
Me: Yes.
B: Can you use it to buy Spider-Man Friend or Foe on the X-Box?
Me: That’s not exactly how it works…