Kid Quotes (6/3)

I’ve posted two serious posts in a row, and that’s pretty much all I can handle, so now for some fun. 🙂 For those dropping by from the WordCount Blogathon, my kids are Jeffrey (11) and Bennett (4), and they keep me pretty entertained.

In our old house, the closet in Jeffrey’s room was only half-size because a brilliant architect and/or contractor decided that having a fireplace in the (finished) basement, and thus a chimney running through the closet space, was more important than actually having a closet in a bedroom. So for years, I used a shower curtain rod as a second rod for his clothes. This also enabled me to put seasonal stuff down where he could reach it when he was little. When we moved, I suddenly had a curtain rod I had no use for. So, I put it in our hall coat closet for Bennett to hang his coat and jacket on. Jeffrey was so excited. “Isn’t modern technology great?”
I attempted to explain, “Well, these aren’t really modern. Shower curtain rods have been around for quite a while now. And it’s not really technology…”
He would not be deterred. “Isn’t Mama technology great?”

In my cleaning and unpacking, I ran across my old Cabbage Patch doll. Bennett adopted it. Jeffrey has never quite grasped the idea that every single thing in the world isn’t alive, and Bennett is still four, so we have frequent discussions in which I try (in vain, apparently)  to explain about inanimate objects and that the stuffed animals do not actually feel pain when they are dropped. After one such discussion, Bennett was playing with a Lego mini-figure, and Jeffrey told him, “Careful, or the baby will choke on it!” Bennett fired back, “He’s not real! He’s a fraud!”
Well, son, that’s not exactly what I said. I wonder if I should explain about the signature on the doll’s bottom…

Jeffrey likes to look things up online. Somehow he ended up reading about It’s a Wonderful Life tonight right before bed tonight.
J: “It’s a Wonderful Life sounds like a horrible movie.”
Me: “No, it’s a good movie.”
J: “Isn’t it like one of those things that you have to do at Christmas but no one really likes? Like fruitcake?”

It’s never boring in the car, either.
B: “Do cars know where you’re going?”
Me: “No.”
B: “Then how does it make the arrows?”
Me: “I have a switch that turns those on.” (Short explanation of turn signals with visuals of nearby cars)”
J: “I used to think those came on to tell you there was somewhere you could turn. Like, there’s the library.”

Bennett wanted to get orange juice last week, and Jeffrey only likes the kind with pulp, so Bennett graciously picked the one with pulp for his brother (who I’m almost positive hasn’t actually drank any of said orange juice). When we got home and poured a glass, Bennett took one sip and said, “We got the too-pulpy kind.” He drank it anyway, and a little while later, when he brought me the juice so I could pour him another glass, told me, “I need my nutrients.”

Every night before bed, we read a little devotional and some from a children’s bible. One night, the devotional was about being grateful. The question was, “Who are you grateful for?” (It’s a kids’ devotional book, although that’s an excellent question for adults, too.)
B: “God.”
Me: “What about mommmy and daddy and your brother–”
B: “No. Not Jeffrey. He’s annoying.”

I don’t remember which one said it, but it’s been in my notes for a while, and it hasn’t magically come to me, so I’ll just throw it out here: “I like Rugrats. They imaginate.”

I know this one was Bennett, but I don’t remember the context. It seems like we were at the park or maybe the waterfall at Calaway Gardens when he told me he was “climbing about”.

You know those Eco-slim caps on water bottles? The ones that are supposed to use less plastic and therefore be better for the environment? Yeah. Anyway, Jeffrey was complaining that, “These eco-slim caps are hard to open because I can’t get a grip on them.” Bennett piped up, “Yeah. I don’t like these eagle-slim caps, either.”

And I’ll leave you with this bit of wisdom from Bennett:
Vampires are just like people except they don’t have pinkies.