Kid Quotes (5/18)

Welcome to my not-as-regular-as-it-should-be post chronicling the brilliant, fun, and crazy things my kids say.

We’ve been using sandpaper letters (borrowed from a friend) with Bennett for quite a while to help him learn the difference between stuff like p and q, b and d, and a couple others that I can’t remember right now. I still have trouble understanding much of what he says (a cause of endless frustration for each of us), and for some reason, my brain seems to kick into neutral every time we get the letters out. We have the same exchange every single time:
B: I want to taste the letters.
Me: *sigh* You can’t taste the letters, silly. They don’t belong to us.
B: No! With my finger!
Me: Oh, trace! Sorry. Yes. You can do that.

I was cooking supper and Bennett was bringing me jelly beans, one at a time. He brought the last two from the bowl, and asked me which flavor I wanted.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“So I can have both of them?”
Sure, son. That’s exactly what I said.

Jeffrey was telling me about a dream, and Bennett had to get in on the action, so he jumped in with, “I thought my heart was going to stop beeping!”

We have all sorts of interesting conversations around here. Somewhere, the word juvenile came up, and topics die a slow death in this house. Thursday, out of nowhere, Bennett asked, “So I’m a juvenile? What is Jeffrey?”
Me: “Jeffrey is a juvenile, too”
B: “What are you after you’re an adult? Old?”
Me: “Apparently.”

While drawing, he found the box of 24 color pencils, and was using a yellow one for lightning, until it became really dull. I was on the floor beside him resting my knee (recent injury) and told him he could use a different pencil and I’d sharpen that one when I got up. He found a second yellow in the box. (They looked the same to me.)
B: Why is there another yellow pencil? Is it a spare?
Me: It’s just another shade of yellow.
B: But is it the lightning shade?

A couple other drawing stories:
I unpacked my old sketch pad from high school. I’ve never been an artist, but I managed some almost-decent stuff in art class. I passed the class, anyway. Jeffrey looked at one of my drawings and said, “You were a really good artist…. What is it?” Thanks, son. (It was a cat in front of a mirror. No, I’m not posting a picture.)

I bought Jeffrey a sketch pad when he was little, but he never had much interest in drawing. He did apparently draw a few things in it at some point. Bennett was flipping through and found some weird monster-something. He got up and ran over to Jeffrey, gave him a hug, and said, “Thank you for drawing that good drawing!” My kids may never be famous art critics, but they’re sweet.

While watching a DVD about rocks (the one he didn’t want to watch, but ended up engrossed in), Jeffrey kept saying, “indigenous rocks”. I suppose, technically, they all are…

The boys were talking about Iron Man 3. (We haven’t seen it yet, but that’s never stopped them.)
J: The villain in Iron Man 3 is the Mandarin.
B What’s a mandolin?
J: The mandarin. A mandolin is an instrument.
B: So the villain in Iron Man 3 is an instrument?
(On a related note, have you seen the poster for IM3? Does Pepper Potts need an exorcist? Why is her head turned so far?)

Jeffrey was working on the state capitals and when he said, “Phoenix is the capital of Arizona,” Bennett started singing, “Phoenix the cat, Phoenix the cat…”

Me: You have pizza sauce all over your face.
B: Where?
Me: All over.
B: Which spot?
Me: All. Over.

When we remember, we mix up Emergen-C in the mornings. We usually drink the orange flavor, but the boys wanted to try the acai berry flavor.
J: What does it taste like?
B: It tastes like acai berry
J: How do you know what acai berry tastes like?
B: From drinking this.
Me to Jeffrey: Dude, you may as well just stop. You’re not going to win this one.

Dinner one night:
Bennett, after two bites: I’m full.
Until Jeffrey wanted seconds five seconds later.
B: Jeffrey! I want more!
Me: I thought you were almost full.
B: My stomach changed its mind.

One night at bedtime, I was doing something, and the boys were supposed to be brushing their teeth. Bennett wandered into my room, and I asked him if Jeffrey had brushed his teeth yet. (Bennett still needs help from one of us, so I knew he wasn’t done yet.)
Me: Has Jeffrey brushed his teeth yet?
B: No
Me: Why not?
B: Because I haven’t told him to.

Our conversation while walking one day…
B: I saw a bluebird eat an eagle.
Me: No, you didn’t.
B: I did!
Me: Where did you see that?
B: I don’t remember. I think I had a dream before I was born.

Yesterday morning, I was going to give Bennett a bath before he got dressed. I expected him to wait until I was ready for him to take his pajamas off. I should have known better. I was doing something in my closet and looked up to see a tiny naked bottom going down the hall.
“Bennett! You can’t walk around the house with no clothes on.”
“Sorry. I accidentally took my clothes off.”