This is post #501! Does that mean I talk to much? Don’t answer that. On to the kid stuff.
Bennett’s been watching “Gaspard and Lisa”, a cute, if odd, cartoon on Disney, Jr. Gaspard and Lisa are both dogs, complete with walking, talking dog families. Which is normal for a cartoon, except that everyone else in the cartoon is human, and no one seems to think that walking, talking dogs is a big deal. Despite the fact that it’s only these two families. But wait! It gets better! They live in Paris, where everyone speaks perfect English (no accents), and you only hear the occasional, “Bonjour.” Strange little show. Anyway, part of the intro song is, “Hello! Bonjour!” Yesterday, Bennett ran into the kitchen, yelled, “Hello! Bozo!” and ran back down the hall.
I’ve never let my kids play with or on my phones, but I let Bennett play a few games of Bejeweled Blitz on my phone the other day. Can’t remember why I did it, but I knew it was a bad idea to start that. Yesterday, I had to go run a few errands. Bennett wanted to play “the diamond game” while I was gone. I explained that I need to take my phone with me. Of course, he asked why.
Me: I need to take my phone so I can call for help in case something happens.
B: You don’t need to call for help.
Me: What if something happens to you and Grandma needs to call to tell me?
B: You can take your phone.
Hmph. I see where I rate.
We were listening to the radio when Luke Bryan’s “Drunk On You” came on. After the line, “Best buzz I’m ever gonna find,” Bennett shakes his head, and says, oh, so seriously, “He’s never going to find a buzz.” I almost choked on my water.
Bennett: There’s a bear pepper in my enchilada!
Translation: There’s a bell pepper in my quesadilla!
I think I may have already included this one, but he said it again, and I can’t remember if I’ve already recorded it.
“You’re name is Amanda, but only special people get to call you Mama.”
If you wonder why I stay in a near-constant state of confusion, here’s one example:
Bennett ran into the room crying.
Me: Where’s your booboo? (So I could look at it and “kiss it better”)
B: I don’t have one!
Me: Then why are you crying?
B: Because it hurts!
Bennett asked one day, “If the earth is moving, why don’t we fall off?”
“It’s moving really slowly and gravity keeps us from flying off the earth.”
The next day, “What’s that sticky stuff?”
“What sticky stuff?”
“That stuff that keeps us from falling off when the earth moves.”
You know that thing kids say, “Last one there is a rotten egg!” Well, Bennett has decided that’s a good thing. When they get wherever they’re going, he’ll exclaim happily, “I’m a rotten egg!”
Despite numerous warnings, Bennett keeps standing on the bottom bunk and hitting his head on the bed frame. He told me, “That’s why it’s called a bunk bed. Cuz you bunk your head.”